The Three-Word Method
A tool for defining your personal style
Two weeks ago, I shared my first podcast episode, featuring an interview with entrepreneur Jillian Arnold [listen to it here]. We explored a range of topics related to the two businesses she’s currently incubating, but since I specialize in styling entrepreneurs and founders for major events, we naturally discussed her personal style as well. Jillian described her style in three words—casual, chic, and edgy. I admired how succinctly she captured her aesthetic. These words serve as a North Star, helping her consistently put together looks that reflect how she wants to be perceived.
During our conversation, I mentioned that I would dive deeper into the three-word method of defining your style in a future piece. It’s time to unpack this concept.
The three-word approach, popularized by stylist Allison Bornstein, is both simple and powerful. By distilling your style into three adjectives, you create a clear, ownable identity—one that can shape how the world perceives you. For my fellow marketers, this concept should feel familiar; it’s akin to defining brand positioning. Just as companies use key descriptors to craft their image, your three words act as style guardrails, ensuring your wardrobe choices align with your desired aesthetic. Feeling off in an outfit? Call on your three words to pinpoint the problem. Often, a small tweak—like adding or subtracting an accessory—can realign your look with your style identity.
First adjective: what you wear most often
Each of the three adjectives in Allison’s system serves a distinct purpose. The first adjective describes the items you wear most often. For example, if you were to gather your most-worn pieces and noticed an abundance of athleisure items like sherpa jackets, puffer vests, joggers, and performance tees, you might choose a word like relaxed, fluid, or soft to reflect your core style.
As expected, in addition to honestly evaluating what you wear regularly, landing on the right adjective requires exploring several possibilities. When I reviewed what I’d worn most over the past 90 days, a clear pattern emerged: crewneck sweaters and tees, straight-leg jeans, Mary Jane flats, leather sneakers, a studded denim hobo, and leather jackets. There were many ways to describe these pieces, but I ultimately chose refined, as it reflects my preference for well-constructed, high-quality pieces and the clean lines and tailored silhouettes that define my look.
I considered alternatives like classic, but it felt too traditional. Simple was another option, but it suggested a level of minimalism that doesn’t align with my love of color and pattern.
Second adjective: where you want to go with your style
Whereas the first adjective is grounded in what you actually wear, the second adjective in Allison’s system is aspirational—it reflects what you’d like to be wearing. If this word doesn’t immediately come to mind, turn to your online wish lists, abandoned shopping carts, Pinterest mood boards, or the style bloggers you follow. These sources often reveal recurring themes and inspirations that point toward your ideal aesthetic. And if your daily style doesn’t fully reflect this adjective yet, that’s okay—it’s aspirational, after all.
Although I haven’t added new outfits to Pinterest in a while, I still find the ones I saved years ago incredibly inspiring—a clear signal that this aesthetic truly resonates with me. Here’s a snapshot from my Pinterest board:
The outfits I pulled from Pinterest all share a sense of movement and energy. From the oversized marled-knit sweater paired with a mini skirt and heeled sandals to the colorful plaid coat styled over fitted jeans, each look balances proportions, textures, and styling elements to create visual interest. Whether it’s the interplay of structured and relaxed pieces, colors, or thoughtful layering, these outfits feel dynamic—alive with depth, contrast, and a sense of composition. That’s why dynamic is the perfect aspirational word for me. It captures the way I want my style to evolve—polished and composed, yet always with an element of energy, movement, and interest.
It’s important to note that I’m drawn to the dynamism in these looks, not necessarily the individual pieces themselves. For example, while I love the energy of an oversized sweater styled with a mini skirt, that same sweater could overwhelm my frame if not carefully balanced. When evaluating outfits you admire, consider what exactly draws you in. Is it the overall mood, the use or lack of color, or the fit of the garments? Focusing on these broader elements—rather than replicating specific pieces—will help you distill your inspiration into a meaningful adjective for this exercise.
Interestingly, this second adjective doesn’t need to perfectly align with the first. In fact, some contrast between the two can add depth to your wardrobe. The tension between them creates a push-and-pull effect that makes outfits more intriguing and uniquely your own.
Third adjective: how you want your style to make you feel
The final adjective in Allison’s system is the most personal—it reflects how you want to feel in your clothes. This word serves as a gut check, helping you determine whether an outfit truly resonates with you on an emotional level.
To find the right adjective, think back to times when you’ve felt the most at home in your clothes. What was it about that outfit that made you feel so good? Did it make you feel powerful, elegant, joyful, bold, or sexy, for example? On the flip side, recall moments when you’ve felt uncomfortable in what you were wearing—often, your third word is the opposite of what makes you feel out of sync.
For me, self-assured is the adjective that best captures how I want to feel in my outfits. While the clothes I turn to most often are refined and I aspire to create dynamic ensembles, I also want to feel so at home in what I’m wearing that I’m not thinking about my outfit at all. I’m not adjusting, second-guessing, or wondering if something looks right—I just know it does. When an outfit works, it has presence without demanding attention.
Putting the three-word system into practice
Your three words serve as a powerful framework for ensuring your outfits reflect your personal brand. Rather than treating them as a rigid checklist to evaluate each individual item in your wardrobe, use them as a guide to refine and adjust full looks. If an outfit feels slightly off, check if one of your words is missing. Small adjustments—swapping shoes, layering strategically, or refining proportions—can bring an outfit into alignment with your personal aesthetic.
For example, I recently wore a cropped green sweatshirt with exaggerated puffy sleeves. If I had paired it with baggy jeans and sneakers, the overall look would have lacked refinement and felt too relaxed for me. That combination might be perfect for someone else, but I wouldn’t have felt self-assured in it. Instead, I layered the sweatshirt over a collared cotton blouse and paired it with straight-leg jeans and ballet flats. The structured details balanced the playful volume, and the refined elements ensured I felt polished and put-together. When your outfit reflects all three words, you’re not just dressed—you’re at ease, knowing your look truly represents you.
The Takeaway
Allison Bornstein’s three-word method can be a powerful tool for ensuring that how you dress aligns with how you want the world to perceive you. That said, defining your three words isn’t always easy. It takes time, reflection, and a bit of trial and error to land on the right adjectives—ones that truly capture both how you dress and how you want to feel in your clothes.
If you’re still refining your three words, I’m here to help! I love hearing how others approach this exercise, so feel free to share your thoughts along the way. And if you’ve landed on your adjectives, I’d love to hear them!